The light of my lovely day

I map the area between your hips
with my lips.
How silly of me to act as if
I don’t already know my way.

You and I have a connection that’s so much deeper than spiritual
and I would do it no justice by trying to explain.
My soul reaches out to yours the second you lay eyes on my face.
Your gentle hands caress my cheeks as if you were molding clay-
Your lips crash into mine
and suddenly everything else
melts away.

You are the light of my lovely day.
My heart rushes as you plant butterfly kisses on my bare chest.
My only wish is to always remember us like this;
slowly becoming the epitome of love and all its holiness,
slowly evolving into what we always wanted to be,
alongside the one person who makes us feel free.

Darling,

you are the light of my lovely day
and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

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Delightful disgust

You sat and molded me like wet clay.
Its funny,
to think how misshapen we turned out to be after we spent so much delicate time trying to rebuild and remodel our lives
perfectly and accordingly.

I walk around this empty house
barefoot and shirtless,
my mind fills the air with sounds of love while
the ghosts of contempt toss our hearts around.

You make my favorite drink,
Sweet at first but has a face twisting bitter aftertaste just like our love-
Doesn’t matter when we still stick around.

I was lovesick but now I’m delightfully disgusted.
So very full on us I can barely breathe and I might throw up
but,
neither of us can truly have enough.

I see the love in your eyes when you scream you hate me,
I know you love the sweet taste of venom on my lips baby.
I feel and fill your drive and desire
especially when I hold you close and rock your world for hours on end.
You laugh maniacally, face covered in arrogance every time I leave you and come back again.
Doesn’t matter when afterwards I see that smile.

Lovesick? No honey this is delightful disgust,
and I’m so happy I hate it

because I can’t get enough.

Offering

I offer to you;
my heart,
my soul,
my body,
my essence,
my love and dedication
and everything that makes me who I am.

I am at the end of my road,
looking back on the end of civilization with a keen understand of the warmth of love and hateful cold.

Help me become who I am meant to be
and I promise that is who I’ll remain to be.

On my knees with my hands to the heavens I search my dilapidated soul and find you when I thought all was lost long ago.

Naked as the day I came into this world I offer all that I am and ever will be
for your guidence
and your healing.

Under the purifying rain

The boom of thunder awakens me on the forest floor.
It’s pitch black out and raining,
I can tell I’ve been laying here because of the amount of rain water my clothes have absorbed.

She’s here, I can feel her presence in the air.
I see her silhouette walking through the trees,
I get up to follow her as I always do in my dreams.

Every step we take,
every breath that gets caught in the cool air,
a part of me knows where we’re going
but only she knows how to get there.

So I follow.

I grab her hand as she turns to me,
hair matted down from the rain.
Our clothes are so heavy from the downpour
that we decide to just strip them away.
We stand pure under the purifying rain.

Lightning strikes of purple and blue
cascade across the sky as soon as we embrace.
Maybe it’s better this way
us standing together under the torrential rain.
Nothing existing in our world but each other;
no hurt,
no loss,
no pain.

As we kiss my heart flutters in my chest,
her laughter fills the air as I take her in my arms and spin her around.
The love always finds a way to seep into our skin,
like honey into bread,
like rain in the ground.

 

Dilemma

The dilemma was always the time.

Something happened last night
as we sat in the back seat after spending the day together with friends.

I felt it before it happened as I always do,
as our eyes locked and you asked
“What do you think if I was with you?”

Even though I had always wondered
I played it cool,
because your boyfriend is my friend too.

“I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it”
I lied.
We laughed about it even though on the inside
we both showed something that we had always tried to disguise.

So the dilemma stands-
Yes I would’ve loved you to be mine,
but right now isn’t the right time.
I fear that when I’m ready and prepared to give you everything you deserve and more,
I will have waited too long
and you will have changed your mind.

 

Loquacious, speechless and everything between

For so long I had waited and longed for you.
Now that you’re here I don’t have a clue what to do.

Shall we take turns telling tales of our travels as transients without one another?
Maybe we should exchange details about how the bond we had with our lovers ultimately failed?
Or how about you tell me how it feels to be free from the chains you wore as jewelry,
and I’ll explain how I am both stronger and still frail?

Either way,
The relationship we had
and the beings we were
before these days will never be the same.
I had wished so hard to speak to you again
that I forgot if it happened I’d need things to say.

Now we’re once again
dipping our toes in
the water of conversation
to gauge the temperature of each other’s pool.

Still,
with you standing here
after years of me dying to hear you
I can’t believe
I have nothing to say to you.

Forgive me,
I had forgotten just how easy
it is for you to leave me
both wanting to tell you more
and speechless.

The talk I had with myself this morning

In a place I’ve kept hidden within myself,
I know that I must let go
of the things that constrict around my soul.

My lost lovers and my old self will be no more.
I have to find a way to completely shut the door on things that bring tears in any form.
No longer in loves robe will I be adorned.

I can’t keep bleeding myself dry and expecting to become full of life.
On my own heart I will now have to rely.
To my old vices, this is my goodbye.

It’s not healthy to live life loving memories that will never be anything other than memories.
I’ll admit it was my own fault I didn’t see
before it happened to me
How much of myself I gave to her as I watched her leave.

So I’ll dry my tears
and catch my breath
to see my old vices
put to rest.

 

5:20 am

In dreams we meet
and the love that was lost is in full abundance.
But only when I sleep
do I feel what real love is.

I awake in a cold sweat,
unable to catch my breath,
still able to close my eyes and feel you.

I turn over to not find you there
and like a maniac I question whether you were actually there,
I leave space in the bed just in case it was the real you.

But it never is.

Tears stain my sheets and
with no other choice
I go back to sleep.

Only to repeat the same cycle of madness
that I look forward to constantly.

Sunrise haiku

I’m drawn to the horizon every sunrise.
There’s something there beckoning for me in the distance,
I can hear it call for me when I stop and listen.

Something takes hold of me as I stand here with a empty heart and a full mind,
sunrise you are truly one of a kind.

I think I’m losing my grip on what love really means,
is a life worth living if love is neither given nor received?
The sunrise shines golden rays to warm and console me.

Maybe I just need time to see
that the sunrise will always be here to shine for me.

Siren song

We sit stagnant, relaxing
on a beach.
Only the sound of the crashing waves will prove to be louder
than my heartbeat.

If only I could lay here with you forever,
that would be my only wish.
You stop my universe with a simple kiss,
I don’t think there’s a better feeling than this.

The sunset peaks over the horizon
and I’m pulled back into reality again.
A knowing smile spreads across our faces
as you slip into the water again.

A farewell kiss on your sweet lips.
Your siren song will forever be in my greatest hits.